moo-ney

so hard to get,
and so easy to let go.

it's ticking

so, is this the time?
for them to step on a higher stairs? 
as i watch them laugh and show a big smile,
just like having a happy ending in every kids fairytale.
 
and then,
its ended up with  questions.
"when will be mine?"
"Will i be happy and laugh out loud, just like them?"
"Was it right to believe?"
"Why there is no clue in here?"

and why am i just sitting here,
making myself  busy counting  thousand stars on my rooftop.
Trying to forget everything.

why am i just  floating all day in a swimming pool,
greeting my Dad and my God,
and tell them how i spent my busy yet unfriendly day.

 why am i just  letting my face touched by the wind,
 with my eyes closed.
and dreaming about being a God. 

so, is this the time?
Time for me to waiting patiently.
and believe that there will  be one beautiful day for me to come.

Collecting piece of piece form my childhood dreams (part 2)

And another dreams form my childhood,
is to become a perfomer.

an art performer.
stage performer,
to act
to sing
to dance

i remebember how entusiast i am to become a stage dancer,
and how i want become part of Guruh Soekarno Putra Dancer (GSP Dancer)
then i join every traditional dance class after school when im in  kindergardeen.

 And i remember, that almost every week, i stealed my grandfather's magazine, Horison.
its a literature magazine. i read every poem and every short story, and wonder how
odd the flow was. one of my favorite is when i red about a group of people in a rural area,
came to watch some cinema (layar tancep). Then suddenly, a big lion jump out form the screen.

 I love to  read a script and perform it. every script has a different interpretation based on the poeple who read it. the process of how you get into the characther you be is the most challenging part. lately, i used to do a monolgue in my daily and create my other me. LOL.
Now that we have, the antagonist and the fool chacha.

 and i remember  how i love to write my own script and ask my brothers to perform it. lol.

And one last wish, was to be a singer.
i dream to have my own weird band,
writting my own song,
making my own secret and small garden gigs under the bright night sky
with a full of stars on it.
and playing my own favorite instrument, guitar.
one in my mind was having my fantasy-animal band.
i used to record my voice in a tape recorder and make my own sticker label above it.
and voila, there are some of my own mix tape label in here.

Collecting piece of piece form my childhood dreams (part 1)

As i remembered my childhood dreams,
i dreamed to owned my toys shop.
and i, my own, create it by my hand, slowly then become a big factory.

i want to live every children fantasy and imagination,
to see them smile and believe that nothing is impossible,
just like the magic does.


and here is the  trailer of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium movie.
He visualize my dream. love it :)

the Conversation with God

And here we meet again, God
after all things i've done,
now that i came to you,
to surrender,

Tell me God,
after a hundred  prayers every night,
and with a thousand sins  every day,
will you still care and listen?
 will you still hug me and look at my face?

i Know, God
You believe in me,
and You know i know You will.
cause i do .

but then,
i'm the one who betrayed it.

Just sit and wait, God.
i'll come back to you.
to ask and to surrender.
and i know you're tired.
cause i do tired, God

And where is all the dreams gone?

And where is all the dreams gone?
is it you stealed it from me?
or am i the one who throw it away?

all i can see is just a big black canvas on my mind.
while i heard everyone said :
"Your Dream is the reason for you to struggled for your  future"

And where is all the dreams gone?

Me

And it's all begin from me.
to  do something or to change.
to become or to stop.
to be honest or to ignore.
to start or to doubt.
to be a blamer or to be a big hearted- one

 cause when it comes to the end.
it's all endup to me.